~Moments~

    September 26, 2013

    10:43pm

    I felt like you stopped believing in me.

    And told me that, because it was

    what you knew I needed to hear.

    And I think feeling like the one person

    that I really believed believed in me…

    no longer did…

    planted the seed

    of my own

    failure

    in my head.

    It’s how I felt…

    not how you wanted me to feel.

    I don’t think you realized

    what would have helped

    and what would not.

    My life as it is now…

    took a long time to come to light.

    I KNEW something was out there….

    but proof of that would never be seen by you.

    never be seen by you.

    And my process of getting there…

    The process of getting to “THIS” moment…

    “THIS” moment…

    would be viewed as invalid.

    And was.

    And once again…

    like I always do…

    I held on to believing in myself….

    Having faith in myself…

    Trusting myself…

    because no one else did.

    I honored my own process…

    Instead of following

    how others thought

    that process should go.

    You seem to believe

    there is a difference between

    believing in someone…

    and believing in their process.

    For me there is no difference

    My process is what createsthis moment.

    createsthis moment.

    My process is why I am alone.

    And why being alone…

    is a price I’m willing to pay.

    Everyone walks out of my life

    when I honor my own path.

    Well almost everyone.

    And yet honoring my own path…

    always gets me where I need to go.

      10:54pm

      Difference?

      Difference of believing IN someone…

      and agreeing or believing…

      that they are doing the right thing at the moment.

      right thing at the moment.
      10:55pm

      When you TRULY believe in someone…

      in someone…

      you understand the relevance of their moments.

      relevance of their moments.

      Honoring your own process…

      is all about moments.


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      ~Rivers~

      Two rivers
      Mutate
      Consummate
      Emerging
      as one
      Beginning
      as two
      Gypsy soul
      Migrates
      Nomad
      Hesitates
      High And low
      Ebb And flow
      Rhythmic
      We are
      Here we go

      Her eyes
      Watching
      His eyes
      Haunting
      Her soul
      Wanting
      His soul
      Taunting
      Who stands
      In front?
      Who stands
      In back?
      Who said it
      Mattered?
      Fuck all that.

      Rivers meet
      Two is one
      Come undone
      Strip naked
      Empty out
      Open up
      Walkabout
      Who decides
      Who watches who
      Do you see her
      Does she see you
      Awareness comes
      When eyes are one
      In the now
      We allow
      For two
      To flow
      As one.

      ~nj