~Help Me Lord~

Help me lord
Love him

As he is

All of him
In his dark
Light the spark
Of insight
In his night
Of darkness
Regardless
Of how he sees
Please
Guide me
On how to be
What he needs
Without misleading
As I’m reading
His way
His resume
I understand
The wasteland
You may create
Out of hate

Because of love

In terms of
What you fear
You preserve
Because of fear
You engineer
Tacticts
Semantics
Machanics
And practice
The madness
Of sadness
To deny
And justify
The clarify
Of your goodbye.

~nj

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~Sidelined~

Sidelined
So you may shine
Brightly
Lightly
Stepping in
The spot light
Awakening
From the dark night
Or so you think
As you drink
From the flask
Behind the mask
Of ego
I am incognito
Watching you
Through and through
As you climb
This paradigm
Of powerless power
In a towerless tower
Hour by hour
The higher you go
Hour by hour
The lesser you know
And yet I allow
This now
Somehow
For when towers crumble
And egos humble
And you are falling
I’ll hear you calling
Catch me
Hold me
Love me
Please?
And I’ll reply
To clarify
Until there is no tower
You will have no power
And that is why
I feed your lie
Everytime you cower
Upon destruction of your tower.
One day
May you say
You are my power
And in that hour
May you see
You are me
We are we
And that is all
BeIsBe.

~The Fork in Your Road~

I see the man
Aware of me
Aware of
The dichotomy
Of this way
And that way
On one hand
Listening to
What they say
Quietly
Stoically
“This is how its supposed to be”
Says he
Convincingly
Some days
Unconvincingly
Other days
Wondering
Blundering
Covering
Up
The fire
Of desire
To walk
Another way.

On the other hand
Theres no listening to
What they say
Loudly
Proudly
Out loudly
Speaking
“I honor a different way”
Says he
Convincingly
Some days
Unconvincingly
Other days
Driven
Ambition
Admission
Of
The fire
May dim
Within him
If what he knows
Becomes not
What he chose
Silently opposed
He will stay.
Quietly grey
He will say
“I was brave enough to know the other way.”

~Almost~

I nearly missed
The leaves this year
Thier colors falling
Thier cycles calling
For me
To pay attention
To my apprehension
Of seasons
Revealing
The bittersweet
healing
That comes
With the frost
When all seems lost
The suffering cost
Reveals to me
The sacred reminder
Of this valiant fighter
Who walks amongst
The light
“Do not forsake
Even when
you break
Wide Open and
Frozen in awe
You withdraw”
I shake my head
For I am aware
Of this thred weaving
The deep believing
Of lesson once learned
Until feeling the burn
Of inattention
Then intervention
Felt painfully raw
In the winter withdraw
Now clearly i see
You will forever be
Blinded by darkness
Not worth the fight
For defeat is unknown
To a warrior of the light

~nj

~Ying Yang Sick~

Wanted
Taunted
Haunted
Wandering
Pondering
Squandering
Potential
For credential
Existential
Mocking
Knocking
Interlocking
Fearing
Hearing
Whats
Shouting
Out
In front
Of
Me.

Poisoned
Purples
Dance
With me
They
Flow
With me
They
Call To
me

Rhythms of
In…
And out…
And
in…
And out…

Slowly
Softly
Slipery
sanity
Easing
Pleasing
Coming
Ecstasy
Hollow
I swallow
The Wax
And the
Wane of
Pleasure
Of
Pain
Of
Craving
The rain
To wash
The stain
Of what
ying
And yang
Remains.

Its stick

Is making

me sick.

~nj

Searched My Soul Today… Here is What I Found.

Searched My Soul Today…

Here is What I Found.

1. Be mindful of those who are drawn to “parts” of you that are useful to them, while dismissing “parts” of you that no longer provide them with a means to a self serving purpose. Be mindful that the acceptance of others is often always conditional, under the disguise that it is not.

2. Be mindful of your own suffering, and those who are drawn to you with offers to alleviate this suffering in some way. Be mindful of the space in which you have found yourself, which leads you to accept a perceived genuine act of kindness from another. Be mindful that the helping hand on the part of a stranger, is far too often, more genuine than the helping hand of one you may have considered a friend.

3. Be mindful of those with whom you share…others will not have the courage to find compassion for your pain…and be brave enough to just “stay” with you in this space. Most will turn away from you. Others will focus on finding a way “fix it” as a means to make the feeling of having to share in your pain go away. Others will seek to turn your pain into a dynamic of power, of control, with the self serving purpose of removing the mirror that brings to their awareness, the soul they have been terrified to see.

4. Be mindful of those who seek to discredit your intentions and your character. This says far more about their intentions and their character, than it does about yours.

5. Be mindful of those who envy your connections and your relationships with others. Those who truly understand and value the gifts you have shared with them, believe in the goodness and purpose, of sharing these gifts with others.

6. Be mindful of those who choose to expend their time and energy building an army of followers around them, with the sole purpose of creating an army behind them, to fight their own self serving, unjust and unfair war.

7. Be mindful that there are those who want nothing more than to see you fail, and will find justification in adding to your struggle. This is the way of the coward, and is based on insecurity and fear.

8. Be mindful of those who offer of themselves, when it seems that you have nothing to offer them in return. There are very few souls with the awareness, courage, and compassion, required to genuinely give of oneself in this manner. Be mindful that these genuine souls…do and always will exist…be one…and you shall find one.

9. Be mindful of those who stay…who share your space of pain…who find compassion in your struggle…who accept all of you, not parts of you…who offer a helping hand…who want to listen and understand your story…who believe your journey is your own and honor it…who will face your fears along side you…instead of walking away and watching you face them alone. Who will fight for you when you are wounded…who value your willingness to share your gifts with them, and believe these gifts are to be shared with the world…those who are fearless enough, those who are loving enough, those who are aware enough, to take your hand and walk with you, because they now what it is like to find yourself, traveling a journey alone.

~nj~

~About Her~

She sits
Crosslegged
In the sunshine
Like a sunflower
Leaning
breathing
Absorbing
The warm
Nurturing
Light

She runs
And rides
And skips
Along
Softly
Dancing
Gently
Glancing
In the wonder
Of her light

Blooming
Bright
Looming
The night
She feels
The light
Slipping slowly
Into lonely
Asking why
Is light
A lie?

She sits crosslegged
In the night
Like a sunflower
Closing
Posing
Exposing
The fear
That light
In the night
Wont appear
Perservere?
Yes.
She does.
Crosslegged.
Like a sunflower
In the night.
She stays
until
The light.
~nj